Fighting the Undertow
by nightlock99
Summary: "How is your family Mrs. Seawallder? How I can easily kill them off if we don't agree.Or you could fall down the stairs and have a tragic miscarriage. What's your poison?"Snow grins."Newly crowned Victor Angel Seawallder has to keep her head above drugs,partying,and lies. But as we all know,everyone weakens and crumbles like weatherworn rocks from the sea.Sequel to Conquering Death
1. Dead on the Inside

AN:/ This is set 3 months later.

(Prologue)

Some kill for love, money, others power. Then there's me, I killed for survival. I conquered death. There's also a time when everyone realizes the need for change. It's bad sometimes and it's good other times. When I did, I sparked something.

(End of introduction)

When I wake up my world crashes down upon me. I like to sleep, not because I'm four months pregnant and get as tired as possible. It's because I see my dead love and friends. Not in this harsh world will I ever see them again.

I haven't spoken to my family ever since I tried to knife Coral, except to put food on their doorstep. I intend to keep it this way so I won't hurt them. To make matters worse the Victory Tour is coming up in two months. A way to send waves of pain anew to the mourning families of dead tributes.

This thought sickens me, I must face the one's I killed families. I feel a little kick inside me. It brings me out of my dark mood. The baby started to move around when I was in late third month of my pregnancy. Now it feels like little somersaults.

My bump is more prominent than most women at four months because, I'm naturally slender combined with the lack of food before becoming a Victor.

I get out of my bed and put on a bathrobe. No more morning sickness thankfully in the second trimester. Since I've won I had to have a talent or hobby. I found that the Capitol has pianos, so I sent for one, and have practiced many concertos and sonatas.

I slowly make a pancake batter. I pour it in the skillet and smell the heavenly fumes emitting from it. My stomach growls loudly and the baby kicks. "Shh. Wait for a few minutes mommy's hungry too."

"Talking to yourself I see. That's one of the signs of being crazy." He says. "Finnick, don't you see? No one's sane when we get out of the games. Some can hide it, others can't. I'm one of those people who can hide it, but sometimes it shows." I say exasperated. "Well can I have some of the pancakes though?" he asks. "No pretty boy. These are all mine! Find someone else to mooch off of." I joke.

He makes some sort of face that looks like he's constipated. I guess he attempted to make a sad face. I can't take it. I start to laugh and manage to say, "Ok, you can have some pancakes." I double over cracking up. "Why are you laughing?" he questions.

"Because of your expression." I say. "Oh thanks." He mutters. "Poor Finnick. Is this the first time in your life you haven't looked pretty?" I say.

"Of course the sensations completely new." He says. "Well ok." I say sarcastically. I hand him a plate of pancakes. "Got any syrup?" he asks. "Let me check." I reply. "Oh here it is." I hand it to him. He drowns the pancakes and shoves it in his mouth.

We sit there laughing and insulting each other like old friends. Eventually, I clear the plates and announce I'm going swimming. He snickers, "Are you sure your bump won't drag you to the bottom?" "No, I'm sure I will swim fine like a normal person." I reply crossly.

"Ok if you say so." He replies with a wink. I go to my bedroom and rummage through the countless clothes. I finally find a black and white bikini. I like it. It reminds me of truth and lies. I put it on.

I pack some sandwiches and this fizzy drink I've become addicted to called Fanta. I look in the mirror and see that instead of the flat stomach I've always had, I'm bloated and swollen. The skin stretches over my little bump.

I hear a shift behind me. I jump, my instincts ready to flee. Perhaps it's because I've recently been in a Hunger Games, but something has compelled me to turn around in a defensive position.

It's only Finnick. I let out a sigh of relief. I say, "Come on let's go to the beach.

Floating out to deep water I envelope in a silky cocoon. I run my thoughts through my head. I think back to when I said this recurring thought, "I was never meant to be a hero; I am a sacrificial lamb. I was and still am punished for the wrongs supposedly that happened 66 years ago. I am a fallen angel."

The Capitol will almost surely punish me for becoming pregnant in their sick Games. How, time will only tell. I will surely suffer, because even out of the Games I will still be under their finger.

Many victors have died in accidents after the victory tour. I wont be one of them. President Snow will not want the bad publicity of a dead pregnant teenager on his hands.

I come back to reality slowly waking as if I had woken up early and stayed up late. Almost like a person living but dead on the inside.

AN:/ Hope you guys like the first chapter I'm planning a lot of things so far. All the twists and turns will keep you on your toes :) ~Nightlock


	2. Eyes Blacker Than Midnight

I'm on a table. Pain grips my lower portion of my body. I feel as though I have to push. I then realize that I'm in labor. Dune with a surgical mask on says to me, "Be brave."

I wake up with a start. I slowly heave my swollen body out of the bed. Swimming yesterday with Finnick has left me stiff and sore.

I slowly walk to my kitchen; I find an orange and gobble it down. I cook some eggs and eat them lazily. I decide today I must visit the Morgenstern's. I've held of the visit long enough.

I navigate through the small twisted alleys on the docks of my district. I notice that some people look at me with disgust others pity. Pulling their children away from me as if I have some contagious disease they don't want to catch. Death.

I find Dune's family's residence. I knock on door. A kind looking woman with strangely golden eyes, a kind face that was once beautiful, her face actually is still beautiful, and flowing blonde hair. Her mouth widens in an o shape. "Honey, we've got company." I assume she says that to her husband.

She says, "Come in sweetheart." And gives a small but strained smile making her molten gold eyes sparkle. I cross the threshold taking care not to hit my head on the low ceiling.

She leads me to a couch and tells me to sit down. I hear her talking to someone in the kitchen. Footsteps come closer tome and I stand up to greet them. I extend my arm and say, "Hello, I'm Angel Seawallder." The woman says, "I'm Pearl and this is my husband Bay." I see that his parents stuck with ocean themed names, which many people from District Four have.

She comes out laden with tea and little scones. I sit there awkwardly unsure of what to do. "So, I take it you really loved our son and didn't use him just to win." I nod and say; "I didn't know him for very long. I just saw him around school and stuff. But, when I met him I fell fast."

She nods and that prompts me to continue. "Anyways, I know it's been an overdue visit, but I wanted to say I would love you guys to be part of your grandchild's life. You don't have to like me I deserve it. I am a despicable person. I just hope that you know in your hearts that I wanted Dune to win more than myself until I found out I was pregnant. Do you know what I thought? I thought that after Ruby died that I could lay down my weapons and die. But, then I thought of the baby; I couldn't have ended a life before it started."

A throat clears in the background I try to see through the tears that fog my vision. "Angel Seawallder. Your name is very curious; it has two meanings; one of life and one of death. Do you know who you are? You are one of the descendants of the rebels from the Dark Days. I know this may be irrelevant right now. But, heed my words you will understand one day why I told you this perhaps sooner. I know Dune and yourself loved each other a lot even in the short time you've know each other."

I get confused he jumps from me being a descendant of the rebels to how Dune and I love each other. "But, don't stop yourself from living. My son would've wanted you to carry on." I nod. A single tear slips from my eye it falls onto my lips tracing it. The saltiness fills my mouth.

"Just remember, what is right is not always easy and what is easy is not always right. Don't let them own you, you are not a piece in their games," he says.

I say goodbye and leave. I jog the streets until I arrive panting at my house. My face, which is soaked with tears, did not look beautiful. I was not a heroine who looked beautiful; I am just a normal person.

My red eyes, puffy nose filed with mucus, and blotchy complexion hardly made me the fairest in the land. I hope that when I do the Victory Tour that my hormones are in check.

I jump on my bed and repeatedly run my hands over the silky fabric to try to calm down. My thoughts swirl like sand being raked up in a rip current. Blood black and glistening, eyes gouged out, intestines lying on the ground red and bloody, children wailing for food, their mothers crying because they can't give to them, and behind it all no matter how much the image changes, there is Snow's eyes; blacker than midnight.

AN:/ hey I haven't met you and this is crazy, but here's my story. So review maybe? ~Nightlock


	3. The Visit

When I was 7 I stopped believing in God. At 18 I haven't again believed in religion. How could some being who was supposed to smite evil exist if evil penetrated us down to our very cores? I still said prayers, but I never believed what it said.

If God was real why didn't he stop all the suffering and break the rule of the bloated, corrupt Capitol? When I was 7 I witnessed the brutal murder of a boy who was 14 for taking 3 extra fish to feed his starving family. They whipped him and languished it slowly. His cries stopped only when they put a bullet in his brain; he was the example not the victim. I am the example and victim.

At a whopping five months pregnant, I am at my largest body size I've ever been. My months at home haven't been very exciting. I've basically been swimming and trying to run from the past. I tried to sail to see if there was ever a place other than Panem.

When I got several miles out to sea there was barbwire under the water so I have to turn back. Some may call me paranoid, but there's something out there that the government doesn't want us to know. I will find out.

I struggle out of my bed that's high off my bed and my feet land on the plush carpet that decorates my bedroom in Victor's Village. I put on some jean Capri's and a loose maternity top. I French braid my hair; however, this isn't something I usually do. I eat some of the bread that's native to my District. The saltiness reminds me of my tears.

I walk through the district market; I resist the urge to puke. This brings back a memory of when my mom was pregnant with the twins. She couldn't walk through the fish market without puking. I buy a tuna to eat for later. I start to slowly walk home. This isn't my home I think, a cage to keep the murdering, psychotic Victors from the general population. I smell it when I reach the front door, roses and blood. I calm myself down and straighten my back up.

A man waits at the front door and takes my package. I tell him thank you. "President Snow is in your study." He says arrogantly. "Ok thank you." I slip off my shoes and quietly walk to my "office". I've never really been in the study. I haven't needed it; with all the money I have. The smell of roses and a hint of blood are almost over powering. I open the door and take a deep breath. He's sitting in the large chair rifling through papers.

"Hello Mrs. Seawallder." He curtly says. "Hello President Snow." I reply neutrally. He eyes me in a way that makes me think of a snake getting ready to pounce on a mouse. My sea green eyes staring down his black ones, which are blacker than midnight. "Mrs. Seawallder I think it would be easier if we didn't lie to each other." He says, "Yes I quite agree." I remark.

"So Mrs. Seawallder, we have quite a dilemma here. You are pregnant with the deceased Dune Morgenstern's child." He says quietly, which sends shivers down my spine. I fold my hand over my stomach to protect it. I feel the baby kick back. "Yes I am." I reply. "How is your family Mrs. Seawallder? How I can easily kill them off if we don't agree. Or you could fall down the stairs and have a tragic miscarriage. What's your poison? " Snow grins. "I haven't been near my family for weeks for their own protection. Please don't my baby, this is one of the people I could give my life up for." I say.

"Oh yes I've heard of the incident of where you tried to knife your sister." He almost smiles while saying this. Snow takes pleasure in murder, and disgust fills my heart. "Yes, and what is your real reason of coming to my home? I know this isn't for pleasure am I quite right." I ask.

"Mrs. Seawallder I know you're not stupid. So the innocent girl act won't work on me like the others. You see I know you manipulated your way into the Career pack. My reason of coming here is to say that you've stirred up thoughts of rebellion. A pregnant girl in the Hunger Games has never happened before. Many people in the Capitol and District's didn't like that. You must calm the District's and the Capitol down. Is that clear?" he says and starts to walk out of the room.

"Crystal." I reply. "Oh and Mrs. Seawallder since you and your family aren't as close anymore don't think that they are safe." Snow smirks. I feel my hand crumple into a fist; I want to kill that man. He deserves to die. And he should die by my hand.

I sit in the office, my anger boiling. I go outside and walk quickly to Mags house. I reach the door and rap urgently. "Did Snow visit you?" she asks. "Yes." I reply with my voice quavering, and then the tears start to flow down my cheeks. "He doesn't visit all Victor's just the troublemakers. Whom did he threaten?" she asks. "My family, my baby, and me. The poor, pregnant, mad girl." I whisper. "I want my mom." I cry. I vaguely hear Mags talking to someone on the phone and then a door bursting open. Strong golden arms pick me up. I hazily see sea green eyes before I go out like a light.


	4. The Seer

An endless white surrounds me. Oh my god am I in the arena? Have I never left this hell? I hear feet pounding the hard packed earth behind me. I run my long strides getting me further from the unknown enemy. I hear the screams of a women and an infant. Then I wake up.

I sit straight up and look around the strange room. Where am I? Last night comes flooding back to me, my break down and Finnick carrying me up to my room. I slowly drop off the bed and my ankles crack when I get down. I look in the mirror. What I see is a sight for sore eyes. A bed head, puffy eyes, and dark circles.

I go to the kitchen and see Mags, Finnick, and Zale looking worried. Zale? I haven't see him since, since before the arena. They're talking and looking worried. When they see me Mags gives a comforting smile and I weakly smile back.

I walk out of the door without a sound and go to my home and grab a fishing pole, a large knife, a hunk of meat, and a bucket. I walk down to the pier and sit at the edge and dangle my bare feet over the edge. I put the bait on and cast the line far out.

Seemingly hours pass and the ocean offers me its bounty. My bucket soon fills up with fish. I start to gut and clean them. While doing this I sing an old song. Centuries old it has been sung by sailors and pirates from before the Dark Days.

"Oh I thought I heard the old man say,  
Leave her, Johnny, leave her,  
It's a long, hard pull to the next payday  
And it's time for us to leave her.

Leave her, Johnny, leave her!  
Oh, leave her, Johnny, leave her,  
For the voyage is done and the winds don't blow,  
And it's time for us to leave her!

Oh, the winds were foul and the work was hard,  
Leave her, Johnny, leave her!  
From the Liverpool dock to the London yard  
And it's time for us to leave her.

Leave her, Johnny, leave her!  
Oh, leave her, Johnny, leave her,  
For the voyage is done and the winds don't blow,  
And it's time for us to leave her!

Oh, the skipper was bad, but the mate was worse.  
Leave her, Johnny, leave her  
He'd blow you down with a spite and a curse,  
And it's time for us to leave her.

Leave her, Johnny, leave her!  
Oh, leave her, Johnny, leave her,  
For the voyage is done and the winds don't blow,  
And it's time for us to leave her!

It was rotten meat and moldy bread,  
Leave her, Johnny, leave her!  
You'd eat it or you'd starve to death,  
And it's time for us to leave her.

Leave her, Johnny, leave her!  
Oh, leave her, Johnny, leave her,  
For the voyage is done and the winds don't blow,  
And it's time for us to leave her!

Well it's time for us to say goodbye,  
Leave her, Johnny, leave her,  
For now those pumps are all pumped dry,  
And it's time for us to leave her.

Leave her, Johnny, leave her!  
Oh, leave her, Johnny, leave her,  
For the voyage is done and the winds don't blow,  
And it's time for us to leave her!"

All the while I gut the fish and bang my feet against the

Pier. I hear footsteps come up behind me. I force myself not to bring my knife up. I hear a young child's voice with a lisp say, "Excuse me ma'am I heard someone singing and it was so pwetty. Was it you?"

I turn around and say "Yes." The child can't be older than 6 and very handsome I should say. "What's your name little boy?" I ask. "My name is Dax." He replies. "What's yours?" he asks. His parents must not have shown him the Games yet, he probably knows from school but he doesn't know whom the Victor's are. "I'm Angel." I slightly struggle to get up from my bump.

His eyes widen when he sees my stomach. "Angel are you gonna have a baby?" he asks. "Yes honey. How do you know that?" I ask. "My mommy's going to have a baby soon too." He smiles. "Can you sing again." He asks.

"Sure." I smile. I start to sing a melody my mother would sing me to sleep with.

"The other night dear, as I lay sleeping  
I dreamed I held you in my arms  
But when I awoke, dear, I was mistaken  
So I hung my head and I cried.

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine  
You make me happy when skies are gray  
You'll never know dear, how much I love you  
Please don't take my sunshine away

I'll always love you and make you happy,  
If you will only say the same.  
But if you leave me and love another,  
You'll regret it all some day:

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine  
You make me happy when skies are gray  
You'll never know dear, how much I love you  
Please don't take my sunshine away

You told me once, dear, you really loved me  
And no one else could come between.  
But now you've left me and love another;  
You have shattered all of my dreams:

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine  
You make me happy when skies are gray  
You'll never know dear, how much I love you  
Please don't take my sunshine away

In all my dreams, dear, you seem to leave me  
When I awake my poor heart pains.  
So when you come back and make me happy  
I'll forgive you dear, I'll take all the blame.

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine  
You make me happy when skies are gray  
You'll never know dear, how much I love you  
Please don't take my sunshine away"

He claps and gives me a gap toothed smile. I find the corners of my mouth turning upwards. I pick up the basket of cleaned fish and put it to my hip. "Well Dax where do you live, because I should walk you home." I ask. He says he'll show me. I follow him through the narrow streets and canals that riddle my District. We approach a dwelling in the wealthier side of the District.

He knocks on a door and a young cheerful looking woman opens the door. She's clearly his mother. When she looks at my face her smile falters then fixes herself up. "Do you want to come in Angel?" the woman asks. "Um, sure." I step into the doorway and feel the cool air rush over me. Dax leads me to the kitchen. I slip my shoes off and put the fish down in their doorway. The woman turns to the side where I can see her bulge.

From what I figure her name is Cassandra. She asks her son to leave. "Bye Angel." He says. "Bye Dax." I smile. When her son leaves the smile melts and is replaced by worry. I would be too; an experienced killer in your house ought to worry you. Especially with your 6 year old son. "Hello." I attempt to cheerfully say. "Hi." She answers. "Your son is adorable. I hope you didn't feel uncomfortable that I walked him home." I say.

"It didn't although you are a Victor I saw the sadness in your eyes and how you hid the little boy. Angel, you are so unlike any Victor we have seen before. Please use your influence to help end these twisted Games. For my Dax, your baby, my baby, Ruby, Dune, and so many others. Change is inevitable. Snow will not be in power for much longer. But you, Angel will help us rise from the ashes. But, you will not be the symbol. Another from an outlying District shall be."

Cassandra's eyes glows with unshed tears. I can see that she is a seer. With that I say in a strong clear voice . "I will end them."

AN:/ Hey well I hope you like it. I'm trying to work out the plot in my head a little more. So yeah anyways I'll try to have the update before Halloween. :) Anyways reviews are always appreciated. I also don't own "You Are My Sunshine" by Johnny Cash and "Leave her Johnny" which is an old sea chanty ~Nightlock


	5. Snow Will Fall

I walk to my house in Victor's Village. I run Cassandra's prophecy in my head over and over again trying to make sense. When will Snow fall? Who will deal the deathblow? When I go to the District's I will subtly hint at rebellion. Yes, I will do that.

I pat the baby; I don't know if it's a boy or girl. Or if it's twins, triplets, or an only child. I hope I can make an appointment to the doctor's office in the Capitol.

I look in the mailbox and wonder if anything has come for me. Nothing. I sigh. My keen hearing picks up a crunch behind me. I whip my head around.

I see Coral. "Coral, why are you here?" I say. "Because I know you never would hurt me. You say always would protect me and I believe you." She says. "You don't know that. Did you see what I did to those children? You did didn't you; I can see the condescending look in your eyes and in mom and dads. I'm a monster stay away from me. It's for your own good."

Those words echo in my ears. I vaguely remember my mother telling me "It's for your own good when I was locked in my room for trying to sneak out to a friend's house.

I run into my house panting. I hear her follow me. "Ok, you can be around me just let me tell you one rule." I whisper, "Never ever sneak up on me. Or I swear I may kill you." "Ok." She murmurs.

I go and give her a hug. Coral seems to understand I'll never be the same again. I don't know what will happen since Snow talked to me. What will he do?

I swear that I will destroy him. Not just for my family, but for others, and to avenge the fallen tributes.

I ask Coral, "Do you want to bake some chocolate chip cookies?" "Yes." She says excitedly. Now that I'm a Victor I have unlimited food supplies. I've only baked stuff 3 times. My parents give us cake when we turn 12.

I look at the numerous cookbooks I have in stock, I find one that is bound in red leather. I flip to a page that says chocolate chip cookies. I begin to gather the ingredients. Chocolate, eggs, sugar, flour, vanilla, and butter. Those ingredients are all required to create the cookies.

I let Coral blend the stuff together while I sit and think. My thoughts take me to the arena. I see Dune, his eyes sparkling, and his hair blowing in the wind. "I thought you were dead." I whisper caressing his face. "Me dead? No not ever. I will always be here with you. Right here?" he says pointing to my heart and resting his hand on my stomach. We lean in for a kiss then I hear my name repeated over and over again, like a broken record.

Coral. "Hey honey. What is it?" I ask "You were staring into space and looked like you about to kiss someone." She says. "Well I'm good and fine now." I say. The reason I've lost my mind and hallucinate is from Snow and his sick game. Not to mention my baby's father is dead.

We put in the cookies and wait for them to cook. While we wait Coral and I have a deep conversation. "Look Angel I did see your Games. You are not a monster contrary to what you believe. I saw what you said to Ruby. And I saw how you ignored that boy by the stream. You're not a bad person just broken."

I grip her hand like a vice. "Thanks." I whisper a tear rolls down my cheek. "I really mean it." She says. "Coral, you're pure and untainted I hope you stay that way, I know you will. You have a certain goodness and innocence that this world hasn't crushed and so does Artemis and Apollo. I lost my innocence that first time I felt my hand drive that knife into the blind girl's chest." I say.

She gets up and gives me a bone-crushing hug. Just then the timer dings for the cookies. I go over and take them out. Later over milk and cookies she says we did a good job. I tell her to come over another day and bring our siblings. But for now the baby and I need to sleep. "Oh and take the cookies." I also add. "Wait Coral. I need to walk you home it's dangerous out at night." I say. "Fine, but I'm not a baby." She retorts.

I walk her home with the plate of cookies. And I leave. While I walk back home I hear a noise behind me. My senses are on hyper overdrive. I try to calm my nerves and make a silent mantra by saying _You're not in the arena. You're safe. _Over and over again.

When I hear it again I walk a little faster. Then I smash into a hard muscular thing. I look up and see that several men have surrounded me. "Well, well, well. What do we have here? A little girl. Oh, well little girls should be in bed not out with beasties and creepy crawlies." The leader says.

I muster myself up to my full height, which was not very much only 5'4. "I'm Angel Seawallder. You should be very careful with dealing with the term of endearment creepy crawlies and beasties. Or I'll redefine it for you." I try to confidentially say.

"Oh, the beauty with the heart of a beast even better." He says I can see the light from the street lamps a block forward flickering off his teeth. "Boss, she's that crazy Victor who managed to kill that 6'4 guy who had about 90 pounds on her." Says goon number two.

"I'm sure I can knock out you guys too possibly kill. Because you sure as hell aren't a male 18 year old Career from Two. Aren't you." I snarl. "Yes well little girl you forgot one detail, you are. Hmmm well about five months pregnant if you weren't lying and there's 3 of us and one of you." The leader says.

"Oh wait, you forgot something. If you rape, hurt, kill me, cause me to miscarry, or even lay a finger on my baby or me. You will end up paying. One I'm a Victor, two the Capitol loves me. (Which the President doesn't but who am I to tell them that.) Three I'm on the Victory tour in what, a month and if I don't show there'll be some digging around. I can guarantee that at least one of these building has security cameras. So goodbye." I say.

"Just remember Angel if you think we're more monstrous you're dead wrong, if there's a monster here it's you." Their leader says.

If there's one thing that's certain in my cloudy future that even a seer can't tell is that, Snow does as it always does. Snow will fall.

An:/ Hope you like it. Sorry I didn't update sooner. I've been so busy with school. Oh and last weekend I took the SAT's, such joy. I also haven't been very motivated to finish Angel's story. I also have a new story I'm starting called The Girl Who Outsmarted The Others. So check it out. And I hope someone reviews because that motivates me and helps me to write. Thanks, ~Nightlock

P.S. I stole the "Snow will do as it does. Snow will fall." from Mirror Mirror I thought it fit the situation perfectly.


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